As you may observe, last post was two months ago! What happened? I got back to my home town that's what.
The flight back was to Portugal was a constant remembrance of all that happened to me during my 10 months in Mozambique.
My first job experience, the longest stay away from home, new cultural aquaitances and experiences, the animals in the wild, breathtaking landscapes, unbelievably long road trips, breaking up with my ex-girlfriend, meeting my new girlfriend, looking forward for a longer stay, etc, etc...
Portugal did seem far away, but once I go there, it looked like nothing had changed but time itself. People got older, more experienced, my friends social circles grew bigger, politics downgraded into personal disputes between politicians, dumb government projects to distract the portuguese nation (who needs a TGV when we don't even have an efficient railroad system troughout our country, or anything efficient at all?)... So many things remained the same, so many things had changed.
One thing did change. I felt that everybody missed me. The Portuguese are known for "saudade", that word that almost resembles Love. Saudade happens when we remember some moment in time, some experience, someone in particular, that truly changed us. As if some part of us got lost in the space-time continuum and the means to get it back are so difficult that we feel sorrow and mourning. A nostalgia perhaps, but definitely a strong feeling.
Is Saudade a good thing? In Fado, it is a well known songtheme but does it do any good? I think not. Usually it just makes us remember those times, those people, those moments. Constantly. Let's pick up and go. Move on. Savour the experience, don't repeat it. Time goes on.
Portugal definitely remains the same. With Saudade or not, it's still there. The people are still there. But the experience? It's up to us to know where it is. All we have to do is chase it.
That's why I'm back in Mozambique. For the experience, for the knowledge, for the satisfaction of making a difference, but anonimous. Don't know why, but it seems that my highschool dreams are coming true. I have the backpack with my laptop, I'm in a foreign country, and I'll be helping people. Culturally global, here I go. Pick up and go. Create value and usefullness in all. Does it seem too much?
JC
The flight back was to Portugal was a constant remembrance of all that happened to me during my 10 months in Mozambique.
My first job experience, the longest stay away from home, new cultural aquaitances and experiences, the animals in the wild, breathtaking landscapes, unbelievably long road trips, breaking up with my ex-girlfriend, meeting my new girlfriend, looking forward for a longer stay, etc, etc...
Portugal did seem far away, but once I go there, it looked like nothing had changed but time itself. People got older, more experienced, my friends social circles grew bigger, politics downgraded into personal disputes between politicians, dumb government projects to distract the portuguese nation (who needs a TGV when we don't even have an efficient railroad system troughout our country, or anything efficient at all?)... So many things remained the same, so many things had changed.
One thing did change. I felt that everybody missed me. The Portuguese are known for "saudade", that word that almost resembles Love. Saudade happens when we remember some moment in time, some experience, someone in particular, that truly changed us. As if some part of us got lost in the space-time continuum and the means to get it back are so difficult that we feel sorrow and mourning. A nostalgia perhaps, but definitely a strong feeling.
Is Saudade a good thing? In Fado, it is a well known songtheme but does it do any good? I think not. Usually it just makes us remember those times, those people, those moments. Constantly. Let's pick up and go. Move on. Savour the experience, don't repeat it. Time goes on.
Portugal definitely remains the same. With Saudade or not, it's still there. The people are still there. But the experience? It's up to us to know where it is. All we have to do is chase it.
That's why I'm back in Mozambique. For the experience, for the knowledge, for the satisfaction of making a difference, but anonimous. Don't know why, but it seems that my highschool dreams are coming true. I have the backpack with my laptop, I'm in a foreign country, and I'll be helping people. Culturally global, here I go. Pick up and go. Create value and usefullness in all. Does it seem too much?
JC
2 comments:
Continuo a ser uma leitora assídua e, após este último post, não posso deixar de recomendar a leitura de Teixeira de Pascoaes e da sua teoria do saudosismo. Desde que conheci esta perspectiva, comecei a encarar a "saudade" de uma outra maneira (levanto o véu...na concepção de Teixeira de Pascoaes, a "saudade" é um sentimento pro-activo, um leitmotiv para o futuro. O Homem deve, nesse regresso ao passado, buscar forças e inspiração para o futuro. Leia-se também Fernando Pessoa, Mensagem, sobretudo o Quinto Império ). Sendo assim, "saudade" é, de facto, um sentimento nosso, mas não faz de nós inoperantes, passivos, inúteis...
Só por curiosidade, a sua família é originária de onde?
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